老汉说话

周一：最后时刻赶工一个报告

周二：会计考试，会面师兄。收获：1.compete with only yourself 2.motivate yourself 3.connecting the dots 4.aim very high 5.stay with positive, driven people 6.prove your credibility before you ever ask for things 7.be self-reliant 8.be the "marathon runner"

周三：偶遇另一师兄，略谈经济形势和阅读，准备从他处借书；会面教授谈项目；第二次丹佛团队闲逛，队员醉酒无果

周四：吸收谈话经验狂看会计；参与金融讲座，意外地上了当地电视新闻

周五：设定会计作业agenda；去clubbing但厌恶之，远离酒精（哪怕只是这么一点点）和pigs

周六：研究未来相机中

bottomline：多么清晰的下降曲线 

Ham is dependable and responsible, with a high sense of duty. he is accurate and careful in the way he deals with the facts. He usually finds stress and chaos tough to handle. He relates to, remembers and builds on positive experiences. When he feels he is "on duty" his behaviour is practical, sensible and matter of fact.

Because he lives by principles and rules, Ham is very consistent and dependable. With an understanding of how mechanical things work, he may well be skilled at using tools and working with his hands. Ham is seen by others as pragmatic, dependable and ableto get things done. Ham has a gift for seeing the important facts of a situation. He may impress others, albeit unintentionally, by knowing something worthwhile about many things, expecially when he speaks about one of his specialised subjects.

He tries to use logical principles to make sense of the ideas that constantly arise in his mind. He is self-contained, inttellectual and fair. Ham tends to expect that sound organisation, structure and scheduling will benefit everyone. He is aware that he may become the back-office expert in his role. Ham is careful and orderly in his attention to facts and details. He is thorough and conscienctious in fulfilling all his responsibilities. 

Ham is thorough, systematic and hard-working, and very careful that rules and precedents are honoured. Although disinterested in purely scholastic pursuits, knowledge is important for its immediate usefulness to him. He is often more interested in "real things" than intangibles, such as abstract ideas and theories. He can be relied on to double check everything in a quiet, thorough and methodical manner. He focuses inward as an objective thinker and he retionalises his view of the world through concrete facts.

His sense of duty may make him appear rather serious at times. Ham is precise, cautious, disciplined, painstaking and conscientious in his work, yet prepared to try anything once. He is quiet, reserved and distant, with a thoughtful appearance. He is concerned with schedule and system and appears to some to be a very private person. Logical, analytical and objective, Ham is unlikely to be impressed or convinced by anything other than reasoning based on solid, concrete facts.

 (Ham is a fucking robot...) 

It is raining in Denver. Cry with me. Wash me. 

Empathy brings rude awakening, a glimpse at the other side. 

The joke is the cruelty.  

What I have been doing

Is the last thing I want to do.

Ten Principles that characterize triumph in extreme conditions:

1. Never lose sight of your ultimate goal.
2. Set a personal example with visible, memorable symbols, and personal behavior.
3. Instill optimism and self-confidence, grounded in reality.
4. Take care of yourself, maintain stamina and let go of guilt.
5. Reinforce the team—we are one.
6. Minimize differences; insist on courtesy and mutual respect.
7. Master conflict.
8. Find something to celebrate, to laugh about.
9. Be willing to take the Big Risk.
10. Never give up—there is always another move.

To Brandy - 原来是首歌，刚刚听到,一般，从没听过陈，第一回没啥感觉，最近几周听了太多这样的歌，越想让自己远离这样的情绪越无法自拔。

“多愁善感的痛苦如死亡般折磨着我” -  在google里看到这个博客标题。

看Edward Norton的绿巨人，看到Liv Tyler，看到两人分别看到伤心。又是一个我肯定喜欢但是没能及时知道的电影，看到一半，下载另外一半。突然想到Barber of Syberia，心里又是一股酸水。

看Eternal Sunshine on a Spotless Mind, 想起一个人和我说的几句话，心想自己的固执和自满，太多不在意把很多事，很多场景，很多话埋在潜意识里或者忘记，而固执地去强化自己充满坏水的选择性记忆，埋藏在深处的碎片有时会冒一个泡上来，啪！！！

不成熟，小姑娘兮兮。

包袱越被越大，我要不再使用“我要”开头的句式，放开去跑，把每件事做到绝。

丹佛开始入秋，多云，起风，脚凉，皮干。

豪斯医生接着私人侦探的嘴说: 我想要一个朋友，这样就有人听我说话。 

非常同意Rex关于北京的看法。 

拿到工钱我就买单反，义无反顾地买！！！ 

Quote from New York Times: 

Lawmakers Defy Bush and Party Leaders, Rejecting Bailout

"But lawmakers on both sides pointed to an outpouring of opposition from deeply hostile constituents just five weeks before every seat in the House was up for election as a fundamental reason that the measure was defeated. House members in potentially tough races and those seeking Senate seats fled from the plan in droves." 

People are really short-sighted when their immediate interests confronts long-term welfare of the society. This is exactly why value-based leadership needs to be promoted among business schools as well as law schools. We need to remind ourselves, especially those in power, that we have a "cathedral within" ourselves. Our mission is to build something we will not be able to see when we are still alive - a legacy is left behind every truly great leaders. Almost every one is capable of building his cathedral within, but it is simply counterintuitive to do so... 

十月份我希望能够更加有目的地去写这个博。刚才洗澡发展了两个已有多时的动机：

1. 正值申请高峰期，为商学院的申请者解惑，也为自己的申请再次总结

stub：两年天表哥告诉我金融专业需要强大的背景，没有过硬数学根本无法应付，但是自己没有健全的思维和心智去翻译他的观点，这就直接导致自己从申请到现在入学一直生活在对数学和自己的怀疑里。远在自己申请前发现的任何关于金融和数学紧密联系的言论，都被自己当作表哥观点的强力佐证。还好自己没有被不断强化的偏见所击败。这是申请者的通病，也是人类的天性，我们乐于寻找自己所倾向观点的证据，而对反面言论嗤之以鼻（有一个心理学名词对应，可惜我忘了）；在我的例子里，推动这样一种“取证偏见”的是恐惧和不断累加的不自信。

2. 总结自己一个月的商学院生活

stub：生活方式是职业目标的指南针吗？真的是还是只是自己偷懒的借口？生活方式也不是成为slacker或者couch potato的理由。商学院能够带给我什么？我应该从教授那里得到什么？networking, networking, and networking到底对于对方意味着什么，怎么样去换位思考networking？ 

这次周末的出行，一大收获是更深刻地认识了Insight Discovery里面的model，它把人按照行为特点分成四色

蓝色-观察者

绿色-支持者

黄色-启迪者

红色-指挥者

在知道队友的颜色以后，同时也就知道了他人的优点和弱点，有效和低效的沟通方式，值得注意的是，在巨大压力下，颜色可能发生180度的转变，蓝变黄，绿变红，或者反之。也就是说一个强势而富于行动力的人，可能在危机下变得迟疑，更倾向与做辅助的工作。

知道队友的弱点之后，也更加容易认同他人的突破，也知道如何使自己突破。

Orienteering - 因为过于关注方向的正确性，使得自己常常落在队伍的后面甚至游离队伍。缺乏一种“present”的状态，思考和行动同时进行消耗了两方面的能量。 

我一直强调自省，但是独自反思的最大缺点就是自我放大错误和成功。

上周在The Nature Place进行的三天训练成功证明了上面的结论。在最后全体每人一句话总结三天课程的时候我说道：“Self-reflection is neither only about the self or the reflection - it is not possible without decisive actions and caring support/feedback from your team." 

在团队里面我最容易犯的错误就是做一系列错误的假设：

1. 假设别人和自己性格和行为一样-继而无视或者蔑视与自己不同的人；

2. 假设自己的行为模式优于别人；

3.假设别人的成功来自与他们的优势-而非他们对自己缺点的突破性改进。 

行为带来的自省

我对于动作的敏感大于思考，但矛盾之处在于我偏好思考而非动作。所以行动带来的启示虽然不多，但是效用持久。

High Pole Exercise - 我需要爬到10米高电线杆粗细的原木上，在登顶前说出自己的最大弱点，然后释放双手站到顶端。在自己处于及其volnerable的情况自揭伤疤，需要的是之前建立的对团队的巨大信任，而作为旁观的他人，也要意识到上面的人的巨大牺牲和勇气，认可之，鼓励之。我在上面提到自己的冷血，第二天的队友constructive criticism时也有两个人建议我以后多smile，记下了...在释放双手登顶的最后一刻，柱子摇晃，还要面对高空释放双手，让仅有的双脚中的一个离开支撑，跨上最后的狭小平台 （大小不足覆盖双脚全部）。理性的思考告诉自己搞砸的几率实在太大，在上面的我不停地深呼吸，等待摇 晃平静下来，但事实是柱子不晃以后，真正阻止最后一步的是内心对于失败（坠落）的恐惧。最后放手站上去可能只要1秒钟，完成动作以后才能意识到它本身是如此简单，与看似危险的动作相比，恐惧才是最大的困难。

到美一个月，开学一周半，但生活渐渐规律之后，自己的想法就开始收缩，眼光也短浅起来。关注于长期利益，并且不把时间全部牺牲在短期效益上，是一个与自己现在习惯相反的挑战。很多事情自己不知道如何去prioritize，Jobs让我们去follow the heart and connet the dots，但我却想再多走一步，反过来画点成线。

一直很想知道商学院是什么样的东西，现在身在其中，有一些模糊的感觉，但还是不能去准确描述和定义。可以感受到实用主义，也可以感觉到有大学的价值教育，我需要大量的input，从教授，staff，还有身边的人们。去补课，关于美国，它的文化，它的大学，它的商学院。 

[埋在草稿箱里的旧文] 

还有12小时左右就要开始商学院的第一堂课，发日志纪念一种全新的生活，美国的，研究生的，商学院的。同时，这也是我申请出国的一周年，我走完一个关于职业、知识、性格的大螺旋，回到起点附近。

为此特意开设了新的博，全英文，定位在商学院生活和自己的职业思考，地址不公开，虽然我相信google很容易就可以找到我。中英文两个博同时写作，不同内容和定位，应该是种有意思的体验，我试图让自己的两面去对话甚至交锋，尝试幽默，文艺，严肃和成熟。

来到美国，在自己的房间里陡然多了很多思考的时间，这里一切那么安静，空气里只有慢跑者的低语，我有很多时间可以去“反思”自己的未来，用一种更加自信的姿态自省。美国不到三周对我的改变就是：使我相信我是个受到某种高深力量眷顾的人，我不仅仅只是幸运的。

虽然开课在即，但自己对于美国商学院的认知其实浅而又浅。从申请到现在一年整的时间，其实自己对美国大学的了解都很有限，更难说商学院了。但是两周orientation下来，认知还是狠狠地上了一层。自己应该写一点东西，去系统地介绍美国的商学院，和对商学院的申请，来缩小国内同学认识上的差距，同时也为自己以后的两年理清思路，摸熟规则才能完好游戏。

Recent Democratic National  Convention in Colorado and Republic National Convention in Minnesota presented the most perfect peek into American politics and the next president and his aids. To begins with, the speeches by each candidates and their supporters demonstrated a new height of political rhetoric and showed creativity of English language at its best. Obama and Hilary were in first mover "disadvantage" because they only could pick on McCain's old comments. On the contrary, Juliani, Palin and McCain did a amazing job at ridiculing the Democrates candidates with their own words. 

Four days of political watch left me with following vague impression on the two potential president of the United States:

1.Obama is largely campaigning for his own personal prestige while McCain serves for the contrary. -- Obama's chrisma and eloquency beated McCain real bad. But on a broarder level, McCain's team has more beautiful people:) -- if we draw into consideration of Palin and John's wife...Oh man, Hilary is old and FAT...

2. McCain is the famous "non-change" president who loyally follows Bush's foot prints along health care, tax, and foreign policies. He is aloft in that he cuts tax for the wealthest individuals and ignores the most down-drodden. 

3. The topics under the most heated discussions are: health care, social security, education, economy, foreign policies, energy&environment. I still don't see much of the specific details of both candidates' policies in previous spirit-lifting, cheering crowd/show-packed conventions. Thus the following debates in upcoming months are most expected political drama.

4. The media and speeches writers are probably the most talented critical thinkers.

Obama is : 1.young, thus representing the innovative power and determination to change. 2. inexperience, thus knows nothing, did nothing (as a senate), and proud of his modest background. (Oddly, the black guy's income is ten times of that of McCain: 4 million Vs 420,000 -- quote from FOX News Sunday Morning News) 

  McCain is :old, therefore reluctant to change, therefore the Bush the third. The interesting things is that the team portraited his as the "maverick", the rare liberal Republican. Since the Democrats declared rights first on "change", the old man and his gang are left to angry attacks on Washington, the GOP, and opponent's "change".